Beauty in the darkness
Life can be worth living, after all.
I’m not the most optimistic person. You know that. What others consider dark pessimism, I call realism. Life is mostly suffering, no way around that. Our world is a dystopia, no way around that. Your job is useless and purposeless, and so are you—no way around that, either. You’re alienated, depressed, disillusioned, disappointed—so am I. Doesn’t mean there isn’t beauty out there, too. So much beauty. You have to seek it out, grasp it, squeeze it, embrace it, live it. It can be so difficult to find, sometimes.
But it’s getting easier now.
Spring is upon us. The darkest days are behind, the cold is receding, nature’s cycle of rebirth, rebirth, rebirth is underway once more. Each morning feels lighter, each breath tastes sweeter. The air is alive, so alive, whispering promises of warmth, sunlight gently prying open the tightly clenched, angry fists of winter.
You have survived. You did it. Despite everything. Take a moment to rejoice. Feel your heartbeat, feel your warmth. You are still here. Still here.
The trees remember who they are again, buds pushing bravely through the remnants of frost. Flowers bloom quietly, defiant against the noise of the world; notice their delicate rebellion. I walk more slowly these days, watching those small acts of beauty that persist stubbornly amidst darkness.
“Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influence of the earth.”
—Henry David Thoreau
In this season, I choose the sacred trivialities of life—moments spent under trees, birdsong, just talking with my partner, feeling her, inhaling deeply from a vape, sunlight, laughing with friends, reading a good book, the sweet fuzziness of some weed, letting it gently blur the edges of the underlying surreality. In such humble rituals, beneath endless skies, we reclaim humanity. Away from the sterile grip of screens and manufactured outrage.
Society teeters so very anxiously on the edge of transformation, politicians shouting unfiltered emptiness, industries commodifying the universe, capitalism endlessly churning our fears into profit. We live lives that are inherently meaningless—chasing jobs that drain us, sustaining a boring dystopia built on endless productivity and empty consumption. Yet, there beneath the gentle warmth of the sun filtering through branches, those artificial concerns lose their urgency. They are not life—they are distractions from life. True existence, as Thoreau insisted, happens when we are awake to the simple, profound immediacy of our surroundings.
I walk with someone I love and who loves me back, our footsteps quiet but purposeful, enjoying the silences as much as our conversations. We laugh, share stories, pause to appreciate the flight of a bird or the whispering of leaves. These small things, these fleeting interactions, carry meaning and beauty no currency can ever capture. No money, no wealth, no career could ever make me give that up. The simple act of eating something delicious, savoring the flavor, the texture, the moment itself, is a rebellion against the industrial void.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth," said Thoreau. And the truth is simple yet profound: spring reminds us that life is persistent, resilient, and absurdly beautiful. Despite darkness, despite society’s maddening noise, despite a system that commodifies every breath you take, we breathe freely when we step into nature’s indifferent embrace. Brutal and glorious. Primal and eternal. That is the truth.
Our suffering, both personal and collective, can feel overwhelming—yet we keep living, keep resisting, keep rebelling, as Camus once urged. Life itself, in its absurdity, demands our courage. So we have to choose to embrace the fleeting beauty of birdsong, the gentle breeze on our faces, the intoxicating scent of blossoms, the sounds of the roaring river, and the joy of simply being alive. These moments are not distractions but vital affirmations of our humanity amidst an indifferent universe. We came from nature, we are nature, we long to return. We cannot live without.
Winter fades, and hope returns—not as a loud proclamation, but as subtle strength found in moments savored, connections nurtured, and breaths deeply taken beneath the warming sun. Here, in the gentle rebellion of spring, lies the only truth: choosing joy in defiance of despair, choosing truth in defiance of deception, choosing to live despite it all.
Antonio
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