Same here. I maybe actually work 15 hours a week. The rest of the time I work on my novel. If somebody needs something I jump on it, which makes me seem reliable. That only happens once every couple weeks. And I tell my boss I can take on more, but that never goes anywhere. I don’t feel guilty because our whole capitalist economy is bullshit and I used to work 50-60 hours a week in previous jobs. I make good money so I feel like I hit the jackpot to some degree and am keeping my head down until my novel gets published or retirement whichever comes first.
If your novel gets published it probably won't change your financial equation. Most of them make zero profit, even good ones. Even some of the very best ones. As Hemingway said, money or the expectation of is probably the worst reason to write.
Great piece, I'm obsessed with this subject having moved from manual labor to a computer job at my workplace. Everything about manual labor was better--freedom to converse, think, move, accomplish meaningful, visible tasks--except for the hernia and lesser injuries. Now I type numbers onto documents with other numbers and wish for a swift end.
Months ago I ordered a basket from Ghana; it arrived today. In the time I've typed thousands of codes onto invoices, someone wove this exquisite art object. It's an astonishing contrast.
I'm curious what you're brainstorming as a solution. Go back to school for a trade, or medicine like your girlfriend? Get a job in a different field? Start a business?
I mean no insult, but waiting on ANYTHING, including yourself, to change is exactly what the devil wants. I relate in many ways, but I won’t allow myself the leeway to point to anything outside myself as the cause for my discontent.
Your concluding prompts piqued my interest. I have a thought: why should Mr Melonio find a solution? He gets to chit chat and shit on the companies dime. He only has to work a couple of hours a day and the rest of the time he spends it however he pleases. He gets to write, vacation days, sick leave, and maybe even a bonus or two. Why run away from the comfortability that simply works for you?
My job is meaningless, I hate the people. Being surrounded by out of touch individuals makes me contemplate suicide quite often. I become absorbed by their lack of humanity just by simply being in their presence and on top of it all, I get paid shit no matter how qualified I am. This isn't the life an empath like myself is supposed to live.
Pursuing a passion after your 40+ hours a week (fuck ass) job is a CHORE. I attend evening classes at the nearby community college in hopes for a brighter and more meaningful future. I despise the days where I am not 100% present because I am thinking about a miserable asshole at my work place who shared and poured their misery onto me. I'm in my early 20s and I have yet to learn how to block those people off. I understand Mr Melonio and frankly, I envy his luck. If I were him, I'd stay put until the universe begged my soul to run toward something new. He gets to be and live in the cusp of capitalism. He does very little, for a lottle of money, and gets to submerge himself in his passion when able. Congrats on winning the corporate lotto Mr Melonio.
Interesting piece. I’m wondering why you don’t go and retrain as something with more satisfaction and purpose? Is it the expense or something else? I agree people get sold a line about going to university, status, better pay but I’ve never yet met a poor plumber and there are options to create something for yourself rather than working for others.
For some, not necessarily the author, retraining is quite daunting as you must start at the bottom. Of course that is just and fair, but if you have the typical debt burden (house, car, student loans, kid/s) and especially if you're in your late 30s or 40s, then there are the further considerations of 1) physical wellbeing (plumbing work, for instance, is quite physically demanding, especially when you're the new grunt and not the seasoned leader) and 2) that's a big hit to "retirement" savings. Almost nobody can comfortably afford a serious health issue as they age, and lord help you if your spouse or child has chronic or emergent needs.
All that is to say nothing about also trying to get your kid/s on a good sustainable path into an increasingly uncertain future.
I’m sure that’s true for some people however, the original writer does not appear to be in that position. I think if you’re relatively young and have just made the wrong decision for you then you probably owe it to yourself to think a bit more actually about how you can make a change. There are also many other ways to make a living with your hands. Plumbing was just the first example I came to. There is no denying that the job market is flooded with the kind of jobs that the writer describes where people have low levels of satisfaction mainly because the work that they are doing seems to have absolutely no purpose or meaning other than making money for somebody. Again, there are other jobs out there that would allow someone to more fullyexplore a life where you did feel you are contributing achieving in someway.
Yes, I agree with you. I wanted to flesh out a scenario similar to the original writer's for, you know, a friend of mine. Definitely not me.
I, er, my friend had just been perusing careers in the trades and wondering whether they should have stuck with the HVAC training they started before deciding to move away and get a 4yr degree. For the reasons I outlined it doesn't seem plausible, yet there's a growing sense of urgency beneath the daily ennui that says I've got to get out before I either leave through a window or am replaced by AI.
ADHD aside, this is exactly my situation. I have always been underemployed and bored in the sort of laptop jobs where I constantly have to explain what I actually do because the job title meana nothing. What saved me from insanity was Covid. Now I only have to go into the office one day a week and so save all my work for then, doing what I like at home the rest of the time. Yesterday there was an obligatory two hour all staff Teams meeting to slowly and laboriously explain a concept to us which could have been understood in a five minute email. So I turned off my camera and spent the time tending to my houseplants instead. Because I'd rather do that, I'll never 'advance' in my career, never have enough money to be comfortable - but I'm fine with that deal.
I wonder all the time if other people at work are doing as I do, feel as I feel, or if they're all actually as bought into the 'values' and 'objectives' and the bullshit as they seem. I wish there was some sort of lapel badge or secret hand signal to identify my people out there.
Well, we're all masking to a degree (some more than others). It's difficult to know who these people around us at work actually are. What is their true self?
That's actually always been my anxiety too, of being underemployed or underutilized. But our economy is very much of extremes; you're either unemployed or over-employed it seems.
Like most of us can't negotiate our careers into part-time jobs.
The happiest I was was with a part-time (office) job. 4 hours a day, clock out, and you still have half the day for your own stuff. I was productive and had very little bullshit going on. If something wasn't done in one day it could be done the next.
But we don't talk about presenteeism. The obligation to be here because an employer owns our time for 8 hours a day and wants to get the full value out of it.
We could totally work 4 hours a day in office jobs and make the same pay. But employers refuse to even entertain the 4-day workweek because why would they? The deal favors them, they have no reason to negotiate it.
Thank you, great comment! Yeah, reduce the 40 hour workweek (which is often far more) to 30 or 20 hours immediately and watch people become happier overnight.
Even studies show that this is clearly where we're headed. OECD countries are on average 2-3x more productive than they were in 1970, largely thanks to digitization, but we still work just as many hours as our parents and grandparents!
My office has a 4 day working week - 36 hours total. I know I’m extremely lucky to have this but there are some limitations. The 9 hour days are long and there is little time to do much in the evenings without being exhausted. Of course the 3 day weekend makes up for this, however living a sustainable life where you do things little and often appeals more to me personally. Especially since I’ve gotten unwell, it’s harder to pace my energy levels with such extremes. Is this me being too idealistic / privileged?
Also, the job itself is not the most interesting and is rather repetitive. As a result, people rarely speak positively about it. It is very difficult to stay motivated / productive for 9 hours a day. I look around and see people with headphones on watching netflix, scrolling on their phones, reading a book when no one’s looking, or even sleeping. I know this is the world we live in, but as someone that has just deleted social media to be more present and intentional in life, this does disappoint me.
I don't think this is privileged; yes not everyone has these conditions, and not everyone has even a choice in how they work. But we should want better conditions for everyone, and it starts somewhere. If anything you should be having an 8 hour day for 4 days.
I remember when these sort of arrangements started a lot of business owners wanted employees to still work 40 hours a week but over 4 days. It terrifies them that we could have better conditions, because it might become the norm. But the original 8 hour work day was fought for to have 8 hours for sleep, 8 hours for oneself, and 8 hours of work. Today, with commutes and other obligations, the 8 hours for ourselves is more like 4 or 5.
As to your last point, absolutely, it's just untenable to work like that day after day after day. It takes a toll and accrues "debt" on people. We are expected to show up ready to give it our all, and any faltering is punished. But to recharge ourselves is our responsibility to do in our 4 hour free time, not the employer's when we get in to work?
If I could go back in time, I'd be a professional barista. It solid, real work and a very important part of people's day. My husband wishes he was a plumber. We work in bullshit tourism. Creating experiences for people who just want to consume culture. It's bullshit.
The job you do here writing these essays is definitely not bullshit. It has made me feel seen and not so alone, because I suffer in a similar way. Thank you for this work you do x
Very strong concurrence with Faye here - there is nonzero, and very much nontrivial nonzero value in truthful, reality-hewing narratives like this one, brother. My kudos and thanks too.
you write eloquently about this problem and it is a very real one. The core problem is, of course, capitalism, a system that makes the amassing of profit the primary goal of economic activity rather than the meeting of needs. I have a few friends over the years with your problem (and it is a real one), but most of my life has been spent among those at the other end of the spectrum: blue/pink collar workers who work hard often for longer time periods than they are official paid and white collar worker (teachers, librarians, etc.) who do meaningful work (to themselves and which give some value to their clients, students, etc.) that often demands many more hours than what their salary (often meager to begin with) covers. But at either end of the spectrum it is exploited labor
Of course the problem is capitalism. Things were so much better in Soviet Russia where “meeting of needs” resulted in high worker satisfaction and consumers whose needs were met without any nasty capitalists around. Thanks, Sue, for reminding us of the good old days in the USSR.
We dont. The closest thing to gulags are California prisons where prisoners fight wildfires, but they aren't for whole families, political dissidents, and people typically survive. Also, unlike gulags you can easily visit prisoners. Capitalist leaning countries don't have famines. The closest was the Irish Potato Famine, but that went from blight crisis to famine because of the English monarchy, which is not capitalism.
"Things are so much better under feudalism than under roving warbands! No villages burning down, standardised coinage, and a benevolent overlord! These are literally the only two ways to organise human society so get used to it."
I actually have the opposite issue working in the trades, I work my ass off and no one seems to care. Nobody tells you how hard you're working or a good job you've done. Just suck it up and get to the next thing! I worked in a $14 million dollar home once and the people didn't even live there full time. It's disgusting. At least the union does what it can...
I’m done building homes for other people. All the old guys are retiring because of the clientele and with guys my age unwilling to put up with the BS for as long as they did, the industry is as good as fucked. Capitalism and consumerism killed it.
Yup. I know a lot of builders who say the same thing. Most partner up with someone that is well suited for the parts you don’t like. Often times their partner is their wife or son. Everyone does it differently. It’s never easy.
Build it rent it, buy it flip it, build it sell it, build it live in it for 3 years sell it to avoid taxes. Lot splitting is also another longer term strategy that works quite well. Thats the recipes I see working.
Thank you for writing this! I completely feel your pain. And if I had to do it all again, I too would eschew marketing for a job in the trades. These white collar jobs in the corporate world are truly soul destroying. My last job I worked with very bright people, still it was like being in Kindergarten why is everything in corporate so stupid and slow? I realized with a shudder last year why so many jobs require a degree, because only people who went to college would be stupid and tamed enough to sit in a damn cubical (glorified prison cell) all day. That's me! Wish I could have figured this out at 25.
I'm in marketing too and i couldn't agree more. I fell into this career — social media took off right as I was dropping out of college. It's crazy how many Ivy League-educated senior managers I've had to handhold and provide free therapy for just to make them think outside the cubicle and work with me. If they knew I didn't even have a degree at the time, I bet they'd have fired me just to feel better.
I know so well of what you write--the useless, boring, stuck-in-a-cubicle all day type of jobs. I hated them. I wrote (scribbled) on note pads all day long. We didn't have Internet connection as such in some of the office jobs I had back in the day, so I felt very cut off from the rest of humanity, dying of boredom, knowing what I was doing was of no consequence. I remember one staff meeting we had at a governmental agency where I worked when the bosses said, "Yes, what you're doing ultimately is going to be undone by someone else next week in another agency, but just think of it as job security!" Aaaarrghhh...
But what I wouldn't give to have one of those jobs again so I wasn't living in fear of starving to death nowadays. Being old and unemployable is scary.
So… I realize that your experience is a common experience, and that it reflects many problems in our capitalist-driven society. However, I have had a different experience because I was seeking ways to be of service in the world, and I was driven to never be bored. So I’ve taken many risks in my work life in order to stay engaged and creative. It has caused me to have many personal and financial ups and downs, but I don’t regret it. I’ve been driven to meet needs, and that has been a true north. I have never been bored. I’ve worn many hats.
If I may offer a suggestion - please allow yourself to dream of what truly interests you and how your interests reflect a way to meet a need in society. Meeting needs is fulfilling. Needs are everywhere.
Marketing doesn’t meet needs. It creates fake needs and tricks people into paying for them. Get out of that fake “profession”.
I know this sounds jingoistic, but I intend the opposite: you are needed on this Earth.
I had a bullshit job, loved the students and the pay, but it was doing nothing for my resume AND because I made more- would lose my health insurance. I could not mentally justify being paid to be another body in the building during nightshift, nothing to do, when the med students were self-sufficient and the student workers (that made sense me) did what little work actually came to the desk. I hated feeling useless. Also, what a waste of money for the campus/students. Now I'm back in the public library, less pay, but qualify for health coverage, and am totally engaged. My ADHD loves the front desk! I'm still not ok with the library wages, and lack of upward mobility (better wages, more hours with actual work beside front desk). It's a dead end job. Also, it (the library) survives off the the backs of Part Timers (no benefits like healthcare here in the US), and part-timers partners who have better jobs and can support their part-time partners/spouses. Very heteronormative. Its just a mess.
I'm sorry your soul is dying there. I'm sorry we are all trapped in this system.
Thanks for writing this. I understand completely how you feel, I’ve had so many hours wasted sitting in Zoom meetings to discuss meaningless updates to meaningless forms. I’ve also had so many days where I didn’t actually have any work left to do but I was still required to sit there til 5 like I’m in prison and not an adult with free will. It’s so challenging to find jobs that pay enough to live, allow one to use their talents, and produce something meaningful to society at the same time, so we end up taking these shit jobs because we have to. We live in a bureaucratic HR culture. And society’s insistence on glorifying “hard work” makes it feel shameful to admit when you have a job you hate that doesn’t challenge or fulfill you. These are such common jobs though and it’s not always in one’s control to find something better. I’ve had many jobs like this so I thank you for penning this. Hope you hang in there — also just wanted to say even if you change jobs all the time, it’s ok to keep doing that until things are at least slightly better.
Why didn’t being a high school teacher work out for you? Graeber specifically mentions that as one of the jobs that isn’t bullshit.
I think AI will replace a few of the jobs, but it won’t replace the majority — precisely because of Graeber’s thesis: these bullshit jobs primarily exist so that there can be a hierarchy in the white collar offices. White collar workers are rewarded for their performance with money of course, but they are also rewarded with the status of a lofty title and several minions to lord over. The corporate world is going to need asses in cubicles so that its “leaders” can feel important.
Cause of anxiety and me being an introvert, I guess. It took too much energy and I felt uncomfortable mostly. Also: the unhinged bureaucracy. Actual teaching is just a small part of the job, unfortunately.
That makes sense. I’m working a white collar job and feel similarly to you. I’ve often considered making the leap to teaching but fear that I would regret it.
I wonder whether that is a country-specific thing, or whether it depends on the schools, because I've taught at a bunch of high schools in the Netherlands and I would spend most of my day teaching. Granted, I'd be drained after manageing that many classes of 30ish kids, but all the pupil interactions would give me a lot of energy back, at least at the schools that weren't a complete mess (only mostly a mess...).
I wonder if that’s also not part of the reason behind the “back to the office“ push of the past year. Have to reinforce thosehierarchies, which don’t mean much if you can’t see your minions. That, and commercial real estate mortgages ticking away. That number alone will cause board members to ask unpleasant questions about why we’re paying that number if no one works there.
I read Graeber's book and discover another world of BS jobs just like yours where people work on meaningless things a few hours a week. I always had BS jobs but very busy ones where it keeps me occupied the whole time whether I want to or not. I envy the huge amount of free time. I'd love to read much more that I'm able to do and can't do it on my personal time with a toddler to raise and the usual grown up shits to deal with. But I can see how it's slowly eating you inside. This timeline is BS actually, whatever it is you have to do to make ends meet. Good read, thanks.
This perfectly summarized my time as a white collar worker. There was some purpose in the job but the ability to slip through the cracks of corporate responsibility was relatively easy. Much can be said about that time, especially the drug part, but taking self-responsibility was a big part of the way out. Doing what I loved on purpose outside of work drove me - sounds like you're doing that as well. Ideally I'd blend the two but at the time that seemed impossible. Lately my advice to my younger self would be to earnestly invite a higher power into your being. There's joy and love and self-amusement just below the surface if you're willing to ask for it. Sending prayers your way, brother. That was a beautiful piece 🙏
Same here. I maybe actually work 15 hours a week. The rest of the time I work on my novel. If somebody needs something I jump on it, which makes me seem reliable. That only happens once every couple weeks. And I tell my boss I can take on more, but that never goes anywhere. I don’t feel guilty because our whole capitalist economy is bullshit and I used to work 50-60 hours a week in previous jobs. I make good money so I feel like I hit the jackpot to some degree and am keeping my head down until my novel gets published or retirement whichever comes first.
Sounds like a good plan, man.
If your novel gets published it probably won't change your financial equation. Most of them make zero profit, even good ones. Even some of the very best ones. As Hemingway said, money or the expectation of is probably the worst reason to write.
You’re absolutely right and my fingers are totally crossed!
I wrote and self-published a novel. It's made me circa 300USD, and is the thing I'm proudest of in my life
Are you hiring, perchance?
Same here. I dont think ive done more than 3 hours worth in the past month.
what type of job do you work, if i may ask?
“The rest of the time I work on my novel”
It’s just funny because… Because it is lol
I do the same thing!!!
Can you get me hired on? :)
Great piece, I'm obsessed with this subject having moved from manual labor to a computer job at my workplace. Everything about manual labor was better--freedom to converse, think, move, accomplish meaningful, visible tasks--except for the hernia and lesser injuries. Now I type numbers onto documents with other numbers and wish for a swift end.
Months ago I ordered a basket from Ghana; it arrived today. In the time I've typed thousands of codes onto invoices, someone wove this exquisite art object. It's an astonishing contrast.
I'm curious what you're brainstorming as a solution. Go back to school for a trade, or medicine like your girlfriend? Get a job in a different field? Start a business?
Thank you, and yeah I feel that.
My plan right now is mostly not getting fired and waiting for the world to change dramatically, one way or the other.
I mean no insult, but waiting on ANYTHING, including yourself, to change is exactly what the devil wants. I relate in many ways, but I won’t allow myself the leeway to point to anything outside myself as the cause for my discontent.
Your concluding prompts piqued my interest. I have a thought: why should Mr Melonio find a solution? He gets to chit chat and shit on the companies dime. He only has to work a couple of hours a day and the rest of the time he spends it however he pleases. He gets to write, vacation days, sick leave, and maybe even a bonus or two. Why run away from the comfortability that simply works for you?
My job is meaningless, I hate the people. Being surrounded by out of touch individuals makes me contemplate suicide quite often. I become absorbed by their lack of humanity just by simply being in their presence and on top of it all, I get paid shit no matter how qualified I am. This isn't the life an empath like myself is supposed to live.
Pursuing a passion after your 40+ hours a week (fuck ass) job is a CHORE. I attend evening classes at the nearby community college in hopes for a brighter and more meaningful future. I despise the days where I am not 100% present because I am thinking about a miserable asshole at my work place who shared and poured their misery onto me. I'm in my early 20s and I have yet to learn how to block those people off. I understand Mr Melonio and frankly, I envy his luck. If I were him, I'd stay put until the universe begged my soul to run toward something new. He gets to be and live in the cusp of capitalism. He does very little, for a lottle of money, and gets to submerge himself in his passion when able. Congrats on winning the corporate lotto Mr Melonio.
Probably because he's deeply unhappy with his situation?
Interesting piece. I’m wondering why you don’t go and retrain as something with more satisfaction and purpose? Is it the expense or something else? I agree people get sold a line about going to university, status, better pay but I’ve never yet met a poor plumber and there are options to create something for yourself rather than working for others.
For some, not necessarily the author, retraining is quite daunting as you must start at the bottom. Of course that is just and fair, but if you have the typical debt burden (house, car, student loans, kid/s) and especially if you're in your late 30s or 40s, then there are the further considerations of 1) physical wellbeing (plumbing work, for instance, is quite physically demanding, especially when you're the new grunt and not the seasoned leader) and 2) that's a big hit to "retirement" savings. Almost nobody can comfortably afford a serious health issue as they age, and lord help you if your spouse or child has chronic or emergent needs.
All that is to say nothing about also trying to get your kid/s on a good sustainable path into an increasingly uncertain future.
Oof. My headache is back.
I’m sure that’s true for some people however, the original writer does not appear to be in that position. I think if you’re relatively young and have just made the wrong decision for you then you probably owe it to yourself to think a bit more actually about how you can make a change. There are also many other ways to make a living with your hands. Plumbing was just the first example I came to. There is no denying that the job market is flooded with the kind of jobs that the writer describes where people have low levels of satisfaction mainly because the work that they are doing seems to have absolutely no purpose or meaning other than making money for somebody. Again, there are other jobs out there that would allow someone to more fullyexplore a life where you did feel you are contributing achieving in someway.
Yes, I agree with you. I wanted to flesh out a scenario similar to the original writer's for, you know, a friend of mine. Definitely not me.
I, er, my friend had just been perusing careers in the trades and wondering whether they should have stuck with the HVAC training they started before deciding to move away and get a 4yr degree. For the reasons I outlined it doesn't seem plausible, yet there's a growing sense of urgency beneath the daily ennui that says I've got to get out before I either leave through a window or am replaced by AI.
ADHD aside, this is exactly my situation. I have always been underemployed and bored in the sort of laptop jobs where I constantly have to explain what I actually do because the job title meana nothing. What saved me from insanity was Covid. Now I only have to go into the office one day a week and so save all my work for then, doing what I like at home the rest of the time. Yesterday there was an obligatory two hour all staff Teams meeting to slowly and laboriously explain a concept to us which could have been understood in a five minute email. So I turned off my camera and spent the time tending to my houseplants instead. Because I'd rather do that, I'll never 'advance' in my career, never have enough money to be comfortable - but I'm fine with that deal.
I wonder all the time if other people at work are doing as I do, feel as I feel, or if they're all actually as bought into the 'values' and 'objectives' and the bullshit as they seem. I wish there was some sort of lapel badge or secret hand signal to identify my people out there.
Well, we're all masking to a degree (some more than others). It's difficult to know who these people around us at work actually are. What is their true self?
That's actually always been my anxiety too, of being underemployed or underutilized. But our economy is very much of extremes; you're either unemployed or over-employed it seems.
Like most of us can't negotiate our careers into part-time jobs.
Yeah.
It's called Fight Club.
The happiest I was was with a part-time (office) job. 4 hours a day, clock out, and you still have half the day for your own stuff. I was productive and had very little bullshit going on. If something wasn't done in one day it could be done the next.
Employers talk a lot about absenteeism (in Germany they're even sending private investigators on employees that take too many sick days, if I may link my piece: https://criticalresist.substack.com/p/germanys-receding-economy-is-blamed).
But we don't talk about presenteeism. The obligation to be here because an employer owns our time for 8 hours a day and wants to get the full value out of it.
We could totally work 4 hours a day in office jobs and make the same pay. But employers refuse to even entertain the 4-day workweek because why would they? The deal favors them, they have no reason to negotiate it.
Thank you, great comment! Yeah, reduce the 40 hour workweek (which is often far more) to 30 or 20 hours immediately and watch people become happier overnight.
Even studies show that this is clearly where we're headed. OECD countries are on average 2-3x more productive than they were in 1970, largely thanks to digitization, but we still work just as many hours as our parents and grandparents!
My office has a 4 day working week - 36 hours total. I know I’m extremely lucky to have this but there are some limitations. The 9 hour days are long and there is little time to do much in the evenings without being exhausted. Of course the 3 day weekend makes up for this, however living a sustainable life where you do things little and often appeals more to me personally. Especially since I’ve gotten unwell, it’s harder to pace my energy levels with such extremes. Is this me being too idealistic / privileged?
Also, the job itself is not the most interesting and is rather repetitive. As a result, people rarely speak positively about it. It is very difficult to stay motivated / productive for 9 hours a day. I look around and see people with headphones on watching netflix, scrolling on their phones, reading a book when no one’s looking, or even sleeping. I know this is the world we live in, but as someone that has just deleted social media to be more present and intentional in life, this does disappoint me.
I don't think this is privileged; yes not everyone has these conditions, and not everyone has even a choice in how they work. But we should want better conditions for everyone, and it starts somewhere. If anything you should be having an 8 hour day for 4 days.
I remember when these sort of arrangements started a lot of business owners wanted employees to still work 40 hours a week but over 4 days. It terrifies them that we could have better conditions, because it might become the norm. But the original 8 hour work day was fought for to have 8 hours for sleep, 8 hours for oneself, and 8 hours of work. Today, with commutes and other obligations, the 8 hours for ourselves is more like 4 or 5.
As to your last point, absolutely, it's just untenable to work like that day after day after day. It takes a toll and accrues "debt" on people. We are expected to show up ready to give it our all, and any faltering is punished. But to recharge ourselves is our responsibility to do in our 4 hour free time, not the employer's when we get in to work?
oh yes THIS, so much this!
If I could go back in time, I'd be a professional barista. It solid, real work and a very important part of people's day. My husband wishes he was a plumber. We work in bullshit tourism. Creating experiences for people who just want to consume culture. It's bullshit.
The job you do here writing these essays is definitely not bullshit. It has made me feel seen and not so alone, because I suffer in a similar way. Thank you for this work you do x
Thank you so much. Yeah Beneath the Pavement is my outlet, glad some people like it ♥️
Very strong concurrence with Faye here - there is nonzero, and very much nontrivial nonzero value in truthful, reality-hewing narratives like this one, brother. My kudos and thanks too.
you write eloquently about this problem and it is a very real one. The core problem is, of course, capitalism, a system that makes the amassing of profit the primary goal of economic activity rather than the meeting of needs. I have a few friends over the years with your problem (and it is a real one), but most of my life has been spent among those at the other end of the spectrum: blue/pink collar workers who work hard often for longer time periods than they are official paid and white collar worker (teachers, librarians, etc.) who do meaningful work (to themselves and which give some value to their clients, students, etc.) that often demands many more hours than what their salary (often meager to begin with) covers. But at either end of the spectrum it is exploited labor
Of course the problem is capitalism. Things were so much better in Soviet Russia where “meeting of needs” resulted in high worker satisfaction and consumers whose needs were met without any nasty capitalists around. Thanks, Sue, for reminding us of the good old days in the USSR.
Those pesky famines, gulags, and secret police though.
Good thing we definitely don’t also have those things here in capitalist western democracies!
We dont. The closest thing to gulags are California prisons where prisoners fight wildfires, but they aren't for whole families, political dissidents, and people typically survive. Also, unlike gulags you can easily visit prisoners. Capitalist leaning countries don't have famines. The closest was the Irish Potato Famine, but that went from blight crisis to famine because of the English monarchy, which is not capitalism.
😂😂😂but WE can do it better this time, I promise!!!
"Things are so much better under feudalism than under roving warbands! No villages burning down, standardised coinage, and a benevolent overlord! These are literally the only two ways to organise human society so get used to it."
Soviet system: 'BAD' ≠ capitalism: 'GOOD'. Both experiments show us many ways NOT to live or to organize ourselves.
I actually have the opposite issue working in the trades, I work my ass off and no one seems to care. Nobody tells you how hard you're working or a good job you've done. Just suck it up and get to the next thing! I worked in a $14 million dollar home once and the people didn't even live there full time. It's disgusting. At least the union does what it can...
I’m done building homes for other people. All the old guys are retiring because of the clientele and with guys my age unwilling to put up with the BS for as long as they did, the industry is as good as fucked. Capitalism and consumerism killed it.
Yup. I know a lot of builders who say the same thing. Most partner up with someone that is well suited for the parts you don’t like. Often times their partner is their wife or son. Everyone does it differently. It’s never easy.
Build it rent it, buy it flip it, build it sell it, build it live in it for 3 years sell it to avoid taxes. Lot splitting is also another longer term strategy that works quite well. Thats the recipes I see working.
Thank you for writing this! I completely feel your pain. And if I had to do it all again, I too would eschew marketing for a job in the trades. These white collar jobs in the corporate world are truly soul destroying. My last job I worked with very bright people, still it was like being in Kindergarten why is everything in corporate so stupid and slow? I realized with a shudder last year why so many jobs require a degree, because only people who went to college would be stupid and tamed enough to sit in a damn cubical (glorified prison cell) all day. That's me! Wish I could have figured this out at 25.
You speak the truth and nothing but the truth.
I'm in marketing too and i couldn't agree more. I fell into this career — social media took off right as I was dropping out of college. It's crazy how many Ivy League-educated senior managers I've had to handhold and provide free therapy for just to make them think outside the cubicle and work with me. If they knew I didn't even have a degree at the time, I bet they'd have fired me just to feel better.
I know so well of what you write--the useless, boring, stuck-in-a-cubicle all day type of jobs. I hated them. I wrote (scribbled) on note pads all day long. We didn't have Internet connection as such in some of the office jobs I had back in the day, so I felt very cut off from the rest of humanity, dying of boredom, knowing what I was doing was of no consequence. I remember one staff meeting we had at a governmental agency where I worked when the bosses said, "Yes, what you're doing ultimately is going to be undone by someone else next week in another agency, but just think of it as job security!" Aaaarrghhh...
But what I wouldn't give to have one of those jobs again so I wasn't living in fear of starving to death nowadays. Being old and unemployable is scary.
Yep, I feel this
So… I realize that your experience is a common experience, and that it reflects many problems in our capitalist-driven society. However, I have had a different experience because I was seeking ways to be of service in the world, and I was driven to never be bored. So I’ve taken many risks in my work life in order to stay engaged and creative. It has caused me to have many personal and financial ups and downs, but I don’t regret it. I’ve been driven to meet needs, and that has been a true north. I have never been bored. I’ve worn many hats.
If I may offer a suggestion - please allow yourself to dream of what truly interests you and how your interests reflect a way to meet a need in society. Meeting needs is fulfilling. Needs are everywhere.
Marketing doesn’t meet needs. It creates fake needs and tricks people into paying for them. Get out of that fake “profession”.
I know this sounds jingoistic, but I intend the opposite: you are needed on this Earth.
Find out how you are needed.
I had a bullshit job, loved the students and the pay, but it was doing nothing for my resume AND because I made more- would lose my health insurance. I could not mentally justify being paid to be another body in the building during nightshift, nothing to do, when the med students were self-sufficient and the student workers (that made sense me) did what little work actually came to the desk. I hated feeling useless. Also, what a waste of money for the campus/students. Now I'm back in the public library, less pay, but qualify for health coverage, and am totally engaged. My ADHD loves the front desk! I'm still not ok with the library wages, and lack of upward mobility (better wages, more hours with actual work beside front desk). It's a dead end job. Also, it (the library) survives off the the backs of Part Timers (no benefits like healthcare here in the US), and part-timers partners who have better jobs and can support their part-time partners/spouses. Very heteronormative. Its just a mess.
I'm sorry your soul is dying there. I'm sorry we are all trapped in this system.
Thanks for writing this. I understand completely how you feel, I’ve had so many hours wasted sitting in Zoom meetings to discuss meaningless updates to meaningless forms. I’ve also had so many days where I didn’t actually have any work left to do but I was still required to sit there til 5 like I’m in prison and not an adult with free will. It’s so challenging to find jobs that pay enough to live, allow one to use their talents, and produce something meaningful to society at the same time, so we end up taking these shit jobs because we have to. We live in a bureaucratic HR culture. And society’s insistence on glorifying “hard work” makes it feel shameful to admit when you have a job you hate that doesn’t challenge or fulfill you. These are such common jobs though and it’s not always in one’s control to find something better. I’ve had many jobs like this so I thank you for penning this. Hope you hang in there — also just wanted to say even if you change jobs all the time, it’s ok to keep doing that until things are at least slightly better.
Why didn’t being a high school teacher work out for you? Graeber specifically mentions that as one of the jobs that isn’t bullshit.
I think AI will replace a few of the jobs, but it won’t replace the majority — precisely because of Graeber’s thesis: these bullshit jobs primarily exist so that there can be a hierarchy in the white collar offices. White collar workers are rewarded for their performance with money of course, but they are also rewarded with the status of a lofty title and several minions to lord over. The corporate world is going to need asses in cubicles so that its “leaders” can feel important.
Cause of anxiety and me being an introvert, I guess. It took too much energy and I felt uncomfortable mostly. Also: the unhinged bureaucracy. Actual teaching is just a small part of the job, unfortunately.
That makes sense. I’m working a white collar job and feel similarly to you. I’ve often considered making the leap to teaching but fear that I would regret it.
I wonder whether that is a country-specific thing, or whether it depends on the schools, because I've taught at a bunch of high schools in the Netherlands and I would spend most of my day teaching. Granted, I'd be drained after manageing that many classes of 30ish kids, but all the pupil interactions would give me a lot of energy back, at least at the schools that weren't a complete mess (only mostly a mess...).
I wonder if that’s also not part of the reason behind the “back to the office“ push of the past year. Have to reinforce thosehierarchies, which don’t mean much if you can’t see your minions. That, and commercial real estate mortgages ticking away. That number alone will cause board members to ask unpleasant questions about why we’re paying that number if no one works there.
Yes absolutely
Exactly this, same as the school system. It's not about productivity or efficiency or improvement, it's about control.
Louise Kirby thought defrauding the vulnerable would pay better and SHE WANTS TO BE FAMOUS
I read Graeber's book and discover another world of BS jobs just like yours where people work on meaningless things a few hours a week. I always had BS jobs but very busy ones where it keeps me occupied the whole time whether I want to or not. I envy the huge amount of free time. I'd love to read much more that I'm able to do and can't do it on my personal time with a toddler to raise and the usual grown up shits to deal with. But I can see how it's slowly eating you inside. This timeline is BS actually, whatever it is you have to do to make ends meet. Good read, thanks.
Also, Christians learn we create substance with our words, so seek to speak positively…., our feelings, and then faithfulness of GOD….
This perfectly summarized my time as a white collar worker. There was some purpose in the job but the ability to slip through the cracks of corporate responsibility was relatively easy. Much can be said about that time, especially the drug part, but taking self-responsibility was a big part of the way out. Doing what I loved on purpose outside of work drove me - sounds like you're doing that as well. Ideally I'd blend the two but at the time that seemed impossible. Lately my advice to my younger self would be to earnestly invite a higher power into your being. There's joy and love and self-amusement just below the surface if you're willing to ask for it. Sending prayers your way, brother. That was a beautiful piece 🙏